50 days left personally. And I finally had a better and more productive day after a dramatic week. 

To be honest I have no safety net if I don’t make it to uk for architecture.  The only mindset I have now is to do my best and make the best of it. 

I’m really eager to leave the little red dot and just experience and venture the world. I just have to work extremely hard to get there. As much as things are going fine around me, I feel like I’m losing bits of myself as time passes.

Like Picasso said, “every child is born an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” I fear losing that sense of wonder and creativity to the way majority of the society runs. That unless I put myself in the right clique or family with the identical mindset, the world will slowly devour me and I will end up existing instead of living. 

I don’t want that. I want to live, not merely exist. I will work doubly hard to ensure that doesn’t happen. I will be somebody someday in this world regardless of what others may say. 
I just have to have faith and trust my intuition.  
I can do it.

I can do this.